Get over sexual performance anxiety
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is a physiological and positive activation mechanism. It selects to perform at its best in all those situations that require greater attention and commitment.
Anxiety is useful for achieving a goal. Unfortunately, if managed in the wrong way, it can use self-mechanism sabotage. That self-mechanism does not allow the assigned tasks to be adequately addressed or to reach the set standards.
What is the difference between anxiety and sexual performance anxiety?
What differentiates performance anxiety (AKA Stagefright) in general from other forms of anxiety is the importance that is attributed by those who suffer from it to the environmental context and, even more, to the concept of performance.
Sexual performance anxiety affects both men and women.
In fact, they give the performance a strong value.
The desire to always be the full height and the fear of disappointing the other; these attitudes prevent you from living the sexual experience with serenity.
They bring as possible a decrease in desire or difficulty in obtaining or maintaining an erection (in men) and in reaching orgasm (in women).
What is male sexual performance anxiety?
In males, sexual performance anxiety is a consequence of the excessive meaning attributed to erotic performance.
In particular, sexual performance anxiety in men manifests itself with the constant concern of not achieving or maintaining an adequate erection for the duration of the relationship or of reaching orgasm too early (premature ejaculation) before the partner is totally “satisfied” or even before penetration.
Sexual performance anxiety, from the point of view of the solutions adopted and of the vicious maintenance circles that feed the problem, does not differ from other forms of anxiety related to performance such as, for example, pathological examination anxiety or work performance anxiety.
What are the causes of male sexual performance anxiety?
Before talking about performance anxiety, it is necessary to make an accurate differential diagnosis that accurately ascertains the exclusion of medical pathologies that can affect the sexual performance of man (the first advice is to contact, as soon as possible, your trusted doctor who will carry out the first investigations and, if he deems it appropriate, refer you to a specialist Andrologist or Urologist), if it has been ascertained that the sexual problems are of a psychological nature it is advisable to undertake a Psychotherapy that will help you both to investigate the causes of excessive sexual performance anxiety and to implement the most functional strategies to solve the problem of premature ejaculation and/or erection.
Generally, male sexual performance anxiety is linked to the need for approval. Usually, it depends form the desire to guarantee the “good judgment” of the partner. He needs it to nurture his self-esteem. It should not be forgotten how sexual virility represents one of the more ancient stereotypes to judge the value of a male and this explains why sex, together with football, is one of the favorite subjects of boys.
Therefore, safeguarding the “purpose of the good image” would represent one of the main causes of the problems of erection and/or premature ejaculation due to anxiety.
It’s just like a student who defines his self-esteem from the outcome of an exam (fail an examination means to have failed).
In the same way, the individual who shows anxiety from sexual performance hyper-invests on his own performance to remove a scenario that would imply experiences of inadequacy, shame, failure.
Why is it important to examine and resolve this pathology?
Severe and chronic anxiety from sexual performance in men can significantly compromise the quality of life of both the individual and the couple.
A healthy and harmonious sexual activity promotes the well-being of the couple, intimacy, and sharing of pleasant emotions and sensations.
You need to find an effective cure capable of breaking down the causes that underlie sexual performance anxiety and the related maintenance factors.
Below, in my opinion, are the three winning remedies.
First remedy to get over male sexual performance anxiety
The solution to conceal it, implemented by the vast majority of men, not only does not work but aggravates it; clinical experience teaches us that when we try to control anxiety this does not reduce but amplifies itself. Revealing the problem to the partner could be among the winning remedies because we no longer have anything to hide.
Therefore we are lightened because this strategy allows us to access the care of the partner who can thus reassure us and share the problem and the search for effective remedies.
Sharing the problem is a winning solution also to prevent conflicts and disagreements between the members of the couple.
Indeed your partner can read anxiety from sexual performance and the related problems of impotence and premature ejaculation as signs of “refusal” towards her, generating frustration and misunderstandings.
Second remedy to get over male sexual performance anxiety
Contact your doctor immediately.
The strategy of immediately contacting your doctor is certainly one of the winning remedies.
In addition to acknowledging that you have a problem, it is a condition that facilitates its solution.
It opens the door to possible differential diagnoses and related treatments.
Metabolic, vascular, and other medical problems can cause sexual performance anxiety in humans. We can treat those problems with appropriate drug therapies.
The solution to contact your doctor is also winning for the following reasons:
- it allows us to have access to epidemiological data (you are not the only one to have the problem);
- You get access to the most effective treatments.
Third remedy to get over male sexual performance anxiety
If you have correctly understood the dynamics that lead to sexual performance anxiety, you should also have understood that you must combat and eliminate the cause of the latter at the root.
That is, in more or less unconscious self-limiting mental processes.
Raising your sexual self-esteem is the first thing to do to live sexuality with your partner in a state of serenity and inner trust.
Becoming aware of one’s unconscious self-sabotage mechanisms is very important.
It is as important as is receiving correct information on the functioning of certain sexual couple dynamics.
On the other hand, we cripple them too often due to the rampant sexual misinformation circulating on the web or in magazines and TV.
Avoiding self-programming to failure is essential to avoid falling back into the endless circle of performance anxiety and erection problems. All this can only be achieved by working on yourself with appropriate mental techniques to raise your sexual self-esteem and improve mental excitability when you are in bed with your partner.
We can get additional benefits when we combine physical techniques and exercises to these mental techniques.
Combining the techniques can enhance the physiological factors of the erectile mechanism.
We can also improve erectile capacity in a short time to regain full self-confidence and a safe erection during sexual intercourse.
In this way, most likely, you can say goodbye definitively to performance anxiety.
My intent is to sensitize the public on a delicate topic like this.
Unfortunately, many men rely on do-it-yourself solutions.
They purchase medicines online without first consulting a doctor, thus putting their health at risk.
I would like to focus attention on the following points:
- I don’t intend to replace the opinion of an expert;
- My purpose is rather to give an overview of the possible solutions.
I believe that our mind plays a fundamental role in the way we interpret experiences. So by having control over our own mind we can improve our psycho-physical well-being.
Did you know that there are special techniques that can prevent ejaculating quickly?
I’m not talking about medicines, drugs, or delaying creams or sprays. There are real mind techniques that may let you last up to 30 minutes, totally enjoying the intercourse.
Those techniques can improve the relationship with your body with the hope that you can get over sexual performance anxiety.
Click the link below to watch the video about these techniques, you can also request a FREE crash course to improve your performance:
I would also recommend my previous post: How to increase the self-esteem
Have a great day,