Get rid of negative people
Personal development is an extremely wide niche, and nevertheless, it is sometimes difficult for me to find a topic through which it is possible for me to help people live a more peaceful existence.
In this case, the inspiration was a scene I saw yesterday from the window of my apartment.
A couple was animatedly arguing. He constantly raised his voice, and waving the beer can, he spoke with her in an arrogant and threatening tone.
She answered in a low voice, and her body language communicated her desire to escape.
This same scene is repeated daily, and she continues to suffer the situation, without finding the strength to react.
So I wondered what held her there and I got the inspiration to write “get rid of negative people”.
The effects of spending time with negative people
Surely you will have met people with marked negativity in your life.
Maybe they are colleagues, acquaintances, or even friends.
Whatever relationship you have with these people, I am sure that meeting them and having a chat with them will not create any problems, at least until they start talking about their problems and expressing their negativity.
At this point, your mood begins to change, and however positive you are, you begin to feel the positivity that gradually abandons you.
This is the effect that time passes with negative people.
I call them energy thieves. The more time you spend with these people, the more you feel that all your energies are starting to wear out.
This is because you are inundated with negative information, and the energy at your disposal is needed to try not to sink into negativity too.
How to avoid suffering the effects of negativity
It is natural for people to talk about their problems, but somehow, if you show empathy for them, they feel encouraged to continue.
Maybe you happened to try to diminish the problem by saying sentences like: “It can happen to anyone!” or “it happened to me once …”.
Nothing could be more wrong, in these cases creating empathy creates a sort of competition.
In this case, the negative person feels obliged to prove that he is an unusual case, and it is much worse than the one you know.
Negative people seek comfort in others and usually. By showing negativity, the people closest to them are used to giving them more attention, and this makes them feel better.
Unfortunately, the comfort given is not of real help because it does nothing but demonstrate the fact that by showing negativity people receive attention.
The best solution is therefore to divert the discussion on other topics, totally ignoring what negative the other person has to say.
This probably won’t please the negative person and you may feel guilty. But think about it, if you allow people to keep their focus on a negative fact, how can they feel better after talking to you?
On the other hand, if you talk about something funny, for example, you will break their mental pattern. This will help them focus their attention on more positive aspects of their life.
If you let them vent their negativity instead, you would only risk ruining your mood.
Driving communication in a more constructive direction
After breaking the negative person’s mental pattern, it is possible that the negative person tries to bring back the discussion about himself and his misfortunes.
If you want to prevent this from happening, it is appropriate to ask questions to direct attention elsewhere, for example: “I have seen that there are many good films in the cinema in this period if I remember correctly you are usually very informed about the films being released, which one do you recommend to go and watch? “.
You don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t allow that person to talk about what he wants. After all, it’s not your job to make that person’s life less unpleasant. If the only thing he can focus on is every negative thing that happens to him, then he should find a way to solve it.
Your aim must be not to feel uncomfortable about situations you have no influence on.
If the negative person does not give up
Focus on what you want, instead of letting others decide for you.
If the meeting happened by chance, it is not said that you have time to devote to that person.
Therefore it is not impolite to say goodbye and go ahead with your homework.
In case the meeting is scheduled, you can always point out to the person that you have no way to help with that problem. Then cut it short.
Remember that however much you may want to help the person your interlocutor, you cannot and must not undergo unpleasant emotions for too long.
Sometimes it can be useful to be direct and say that you don’t like its negativity, it all depends on how it is expressed.
There are people who unknowingly talk about negative events. Making them notice what they are focusing on is sometimes enough to make them change the subject.
Other times it is necessary to repeat our disinterest several times. Otherwise, the negative person won’t stop tormenting us with his negativity.
Remember that negative people are toxic to our emotions. It is in your best interest to maintain a positive style rather than a negative one.
Avoiding whining is above all your interest, and it is your right not to have to endure certain attitudes.
See it as an act of love for yourself. If you love yourself, it is imperative that you do not allow negative people to affect your mood.
Clearly what described above refers to people who are not part of your family.
In the case of family members, in fact, it is not possible to remove them without risking ruining relationships.
I am not telling you that you have to cut relationships with all the people who occasionally have sad moments (it happens to everyone).
I am suggesting that you are not the personal psychologist of those who want to be constantly consoled.
If you like this article, I invite you to read also: Free NLP Techniques.
There you can find some communication tricks which can help you in case of difficulties.